Post by Jason Kaine on Sept 5, 2013 21:55:35 GMT -5
[The scene begins with the switching on of a video camera. The shot shows that the camera is sitting on a concrete floor inside what appears to be an expansive warehouse. The camera shakes violently as it is lifted off the ground by an unseen hand and settles out on an extreme close up of the bearded face of TJ Pain, the EAW General Manager.]
TJ Pain: "Seeing as this is the apparent 'cool' thing to do I'm going to do something so original and film my own promo without an interviewer. Isn't that just so awe inspiring? No. No it isn't."
[Pain tosses the camera to the floor, sending the scene to black instantly. Seconds later and it picks back up with a full body shot of Pain. It is shown that he is indeed standing inside an empty warehouse filled with nothing but rust and echos. He has both arms crossed over his chest and is giving the camera a sideways look of impatience. Dressed in his ring gear consisting of black gym shorts, a black, sleeveless shirt with his catchphrase "Get Real Bitches" emblazoned on the front in red and white, solid black kickpads and black ring boots he speaks in a serious, deliberate tone.]
TJ Pain: "There is absolutely nothing cool about that bull shit. That technique is best saved for poor bastards surfing the independent scene. It's unprofessional and a waste of my God damn time. Well, that's what Dreadful and Armstrong have been the entire time I've known them anyway so it isn't really a huge surprise. Ladies, there is a reason this business is called professional wrestling. It is a business for professionals and that right there is the exact reason neither of you belong in wrestling. You aren't professionals. Now David i will give you an A for effort this week as you actually did meet up with a camera crew but it just isn't enough."
[Pain chuckles and shakes his head. He then plucks a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it.]
TJ Pain: "You know, my tag team partner, Michael James, and I have a lot in common. We're two men cut from the same abrasive cloth. Two sides of the same unlucky coin, that meaning no matter how many times you flip it you always loose. We both enjoy having a good time outside of the ring and both take pride in the long lasting damage we do to people inside of it. He said something this week that I completely agree with. He said four simple little words...get...off....my...dick. That's something the both of you have done for a long time isn't it? Both of you rode my reputation all the way to fame and glory. You, Chelsea, came back to EAW after a long absence back on our old network and after the useless man child that brought you back put your ass on the curb you came running to me. And what happened after that? You used my name to go all the way to the top. World title matches, main events, press appearances, pay per view headliner ALL OF THAT SHIT because...of...me. If it wasn't for my already established name being there for you to latch onto nobody would have remembered who the fuck you were! Now after that they still don't know who you are! You are forgettable, Ms. Armstrong. Plain and simple. you're a one trick pony that should have been rode into the street, beaten with a rock, shot and sent to the glue factory a looong time ago. You're old news bitch, emphasis on the old. Do you want to know why you were almost immediately put into a number one contender's match? It is because I felt sorry for you. Plain and simple. Well that and I was hoping you would get the lucky win on Dreadful so Michael could have an even easier match at Un-Killable."
[Pain walks off of camera and comes back with a folding chair with a dent on the seat.]
TJ Pain: "Do you see this, Chelsea? This si the very same chair that I waffled over your empty head. This is the chair I used...TO PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL! I'm the reason things were a little foggy when you woke up. I'm the reason you probably now have full damage in that rancid little mind of yours. You are nothing around this company now except for a chess piece on my game board and last week I knocked you the fuck off of your square. You know it's funny that you call yourself the 'First Lady of Extreme' and the reaosn it's funny is because what you should really be called is the 'First in Line at the Mental Ward' after I send you to an early retirement in a wheelchair incontinent and drooling on yourself. I'm going to turn you into a vegetable. I'm going to make you a lesser life form and there is nothing you can do about it."
[Pain tosses the chair off screen where it hits the floor with a crash. He flicks away his finished cigarette and wipes his hand down his face, trying to gain a sense of calm. It works. Barely.]
TJ Pain: "Now you, David, you are a very special case. You and I started off as enemies over in another company that turned out to be owned by a man so incompetent it was a surprise he could remember to wear pants. You and I fought it out over a mid card championship that in retrospect was an insult to this business. Then when that was over what did you do? What? Oh I'm sorry I can't seem to hear you. Must be all of that BULLSHIT THAT YOU SPEW FINALLY CLOGGING YOUR AIRWAY! What you did was jump on the TJ Pain Train to success along with my brother, claiming to be my ally. Then i leave that shit hole and you show up to EAW with your nose up in the air looking like you were the shit while it was only so you didn't have to smell the piss rolling down your leg. You were finally in the big leagues boy and although most couldn't tell I could see you were absolutely terrified. You were actually going to have to put out an effort to get ahead this time. No more talentless fuck nuts for you to be put against. Just admit it, David, you're still afraid. You're afraid that now that you are finally getting your shot to be on top of EAW you're going to walk into the main event of Un-Killable, take one good look at Michael James and drop the mother fucking ball. You are afraid of failure, David."
[Pain raises his eyebrows in a loo of mock surprise.]
TJ Pain: "Oh...did I just go there? did I just do to you the one thing very seldom few bothered to do? Did I just tell you the truth? YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I JUST TOLD YOU THE GOD DAMN TRUTH! But you know what you're going to do? You're going to do what little children like you always do. you're going to pout and deny that truth all so you can stay in your little safe bubble. You call yourself an outcast...no...you call yourself THE Outcast but that leaves me confused. What have you been shunned from? What have you been cast from to make you an outcast? All I've ever seen happen to you is be handed opportunity after opportunity. You don't know a fucking thing about rejection, David. That makes you a liar...no...that just makes you a lie. Everything about you is false. The weird hair, the make up, the attitude....ALL FAKE! It's all a persona made not only so you can feel sooo different and weird but also so you can use it all to camouflage your insecurities. you need to remember something, David. Walking into the main event this week you are nothing. When they carry you out of the arena on a gurney next to the soon to be mentally disabled Chelsea Armstrong with a sheet over your face you will still be nothing and, seeing as you want to talk about what will be on people's gravestones, you will be buried as nothing. You won't even have a gravestone, well maybe you will but not one people can see. Not many people visit the bottom of the ocean where they dump the rest of the dead nobodies."
[With a sick grin, Pain laughs a slow, quiet laugh.]
TJ Pain: "Now some people are wondering why am I, the General Manager, involved in a match. The answer is simple. I felt this required a hands on approach. When people are thrown deep down into absolute obscurity i like to be front row when it happens and I just LOVE to be the reason for it..."
[Suddenly, Pain is cut off by the ringing of his phone. He pulls it out of his pocket and as he listens a look of shock crosses his features just before he explodes.]
TJ Pain: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS ARRESTED?! I want him out of that jail as soon as possible. What do you mean how do I expect you you to do that?! YOU'RE LAWYERS FOR FUCK'S SAKE! DO WHAT I PAY YOU TO DO! GET MICHAEL JAMES OUT OF PRISON AND BACK HERE FOR COLLISION YOU FUCKING MORONS! TURN THAT DAMN CAMERA OFF!"
[...cut to an abrupt end...]
TJ Pain: "Seeing as this is the apparent 'cool' thing to do I'm going to do something so original and film my own promo without an interviewer. Isn't that just so awe inspiring? No. No it isn't."
[Pain tosses the camera to the floor, sending the scene to black instantly. Seconds later and it picks back up with a full body shot of Pain. It is shown that he is indeed standing inside an empty warehouse filled with nothing but rust and echos. He has both arms crossed over his chest and is giving the camera a sideways look of impatience. Dressed in his ring gear consisting of black gym shorts, a black, sleeveless shirt with his catchphrase "Get Real Bitches" emblazoned on the front in red and white, solid black kickpads and black ring boots he speaks in a serious, deliberate tone.]
TJ Pain: "There is absolutely nothing cool about that bull shit. That technique is best saved for poor bastards surfing the independent scene. It's unprofessional and a waste of my God damn time. Well, that's what Dreadful and Armstrong have been the entire time I've known them anyway so it isn't really a huge surprise. Ladies, there is a reason this business is called professional wrestling. It is a business for professionals and that right there is the exact reason neither of you belong in wrestling. You aren't professionals. Now David i will give you an A for effort this week as you actually did meet up with a camera crew but it just isn't enough."
[Pain chuckles and shakes his head. He then plucks a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it.]
TJ Pain: "You know, my tag team partner, Michael James, and I have a lot in common. We're two men cut from the same abrasive cloth. Two sides of the same unlucky coin, that meaning no matter how many times you flip it you always loose. We both enjoy having a good time outside of the ring and both take pride in the long lasting damage we do to people inside of it. He said something this week that I completely agree with. He said four simple little words...get...off....my...dick. That's something the both of you have done for a long time isn't it? Both of you rode my reputation all the way to fame and glory. You, Chelsea, came back to EAW after a long absence back on our old network and after the useless man child that brought you back put your ass on the curb you came running to me. And what happened after that? You used my name to go all the way to the top. World title matches, main events, press appearances, pay per view headliner ALL OF THAT SHIT because...of...me. If it wasn't for my already established name being there for you to latch onto nobody would have remembered who the fuck you were! Now after that they still don't know who you are! You are forgettable, Ms. Armstrong. Plain and simple. you're a one trick pony that should have been rode into the street, beaten with a rock, shot and sent to the glue factory a looong time ago. You're old news bitch, emphasis on the old. Do you want to know why you were almost immediately put into a number one contender's match? It is because I felt sorry for you. Plain and simple. Well that and I was hoping you would get the lucky win on Dreadful so Michael could have an even easier match at Un-Killable."
[Pain walks off of camera and comes back with a folding chair with a dent on the seat.]
TJ Pain: "Do you see this, Chelsea? This si the very same chair that I waffled over your empty head. This is the chair I used...TO PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL! I'm the reason things were a little foggy when you woke up. I'm the reason you probably now have full damage in that rancid little mind of yours. You are nothing around this company now except for a chess piece on my game board and last week I knocked you the fuck off of your square. You know it's funny that you call yourself the 'First Lady of Extreme' and the reaosn it's funny is because what you should really be called is the 'First in Line at the Mental Ward' after I send you to an early retirement in a wheelchair incontinent and drooling on yourself. I'm going to turn you into a vegetable. I'm going to make you a lesser life form and there is nothing you can do about it."
[Pain tosses the chair off screen where it hits the floor with a crash. He flicks away his finished cigarette and wipes his hand down his face, trying to gain a sense of calm. It works. Barely.]
TJ Pain: "Now you, David, you are a very special case. You and I started off as enemies over in another company that turned out to be owned by a man so incompetent it was a surprise he could remember to wear pants. You and I fought it out over a mid card championship that in retrospect was an insult to this business. Then when that was over what did you do? What? Oh I'm sorry I can't seem to hear you. Must be all of that BULLSHIT THAT YOU SPEW FINALLY CLOGGING YOUR AIRWAY! What you did was jump on the TJ Pain Train to success along with my brother, claiming to be my ally. Then i leave that shit hole and you show up to EAW with your nose up in the air looking like you were the shit while it was only so you didn't have to smell the piss rolling down your leg. You were finally in the big leagues boy and although most couldn't tell I could see you were absolutely terrified. You were actually going to have to put out an effort to get ahead this time. No more talentless fuck nuts for you to be put against. Just admit it, David, you're still afraid. You're afraid that now that you are finally getting your shot to be on top of EAW you're going to walk into the main event of Un-Killable, take one good look at Michael James and drop the mother fucking ball. You are afraid of failure, David."
[Pain raises his eyebrows in a loo of mock surprise.]
TJ Pain: "Oh...did I just go there? did I just do to you the one thing very seldom few bothered to do? Did I just tell you the truth? YOU BET YOUR FUCKING ASS I JUST TOLD YOU THE GOD DAMN TRUTH! But you know what you're going to do? You're going to do what little children like you always do. you're going to pout and deny that truth all so you can stay in your little safe bubble. You call yourself an outcast...no...you call yourself THE Outcast but that leaves me confused. What have you been shunned from? What have you been cast from to make you an outcast? All I've ever seen happen to you is be handed opportunity after opportunity. You don't know a fucking thing about rejection, David. That makes you a liar...no...that just makes you a lie. Everything about you is false. The weird hair, the make up, the attitude....ALL FAKE! It's all a persona made not only so you can feel sooo different and weird but also so you can use it all to camouflage your insecurities. you need to remember something, David. Walking into the main event this week you are nothing. When they carry you out of the arena on a gurney next to the soon to be mentally disabled Chelsea Armstrong with a sheet over your face you will still be nothing and, seeing as you want to talk about what will be on people's gravestones, you will be buried as nothing. You won't even have a gravestone, well maybe you will but not one people can see. Not many people visit the bottom of the ocean where they dump the rest of the dead nobodies."
[With a sick grin, Pain laughs a slow, quiet laugh.]
TJ Pain: "Now some people are wondering why am I, the General Manager, involved in a match. The answer is simple. I felt this required a hands on approach. When people are thrown deep down into absolute obscurity i like to be front row when it happens and I just LOVE to be the reason for it..."
[Suddenly, Pain is cut off by the ringing of his phone. He pulls it out of his pocket and as he listens a look of shock crosses his features just before he explodes.]
TJ Pain: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS ARRESTED?! I want him out of that jail as soon as possible. What do you mean how do I expect you you to do that?! YOU'RE LAWYERS FOR FUCK'S SAKE! DO WHAT I PAY YOU TO DO! GET MICHAEL JAMES OUT OF PRISON AND BACK HERE FOR COLLISION YOU FUCKING MORONS! TURN THAT DAMN CAMERA OFF!"
[...cut to an abrupt end...]
