Post by Tri Bute on Aug 22, 2013 17:23:37 GMT -5
Tri Bute: Our Lord, Our Great King: A Biographical Future Comic
ISSUE #17
Judgment
“He is a man of JUSTICE, and the righteous defender of our great planet,”
“He loves future flowers, especially future tulips,”
“He is a man of INTEGRITY, and has never roped a woman even at her most defenseless,”
“He loves future children, platonically,”
“He is a man of ZANKUSTILITY, and can do no wrong,”
“He loves FUTURE EARTH our great planet,”
“He is a man of ZEUSRION, and treats our great creator with respect, unlike our enemies,”
“And, Bua, he’s coming to the ring now, please welcome, “J.I.Z.Z” Tri Bute,”
Then he stopped the tape.
“Butey, it’s time for you to be that guy again. The guy that stopped Zondian rule and saved us all from flippin’ dangnation,”
I looked at him, and then I took a look at the future police report and future photos of him committing the act of injustice, that dreadful act of inintegrity, of inzankustility, of inzeusrion. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let this horrible person go off scot-free after what he did.
“I’m sorry, but that has nothing to do with this case. Since you are not even trying to put up any sort of defense for yourself and it’s really obvious that you are in fact guilty of this act of injustice, inintegrity, inzankustility, and inzeusrion I will in fact be sending you to your death tomorrow at sun down. Vio Lin you are guilty of Style Treason Thievery.”
It was the most disgusting, disrespectful thing anyone has ever tried to pull over me. I thought humans had evolved past this animalistic, robotic, Zondian way of thinking. Lawbreakers are meaningless nuisances to this society and to think I was raised by one of these animals.
“Mr. Lin, I must say, from the bottom of my heart, it will be an absolute pleasure to see an insipid moron’s eyes bug out as his body jerks. I would like everyone in this future courtroom to join me in the future gallows tomorrow as this bastard is hung by the future neck until he is dead. Dead. DEAD! May Zeusrion have mercy on your soul.”
Leave it to the King of The Universe Warrior Grandslam Mega Murder Mother Flippin’ Champion to provide you with eight thousand year old Troma movie references.
The future bailiffs surrounded Vio Lin, and point their psy-lasers at him. Vio Lin doesn’t try to fight them off and takes this slice of justice, integrity, zankustility, and Zeusrion like a real future man would. The future bailiffs put future handcuffs on Vio Lin.
“Don’t tug his strings boys. I want everyone to wait for the greatest symphony in future history. Tomorrow everyone will know that Style Treason Thievery is suicide.”
I am the King of The Universe, you don’t mooch off my swag. You don’t wear the same future shirt as me. Ever. I don’t care who you are.
--
Meanwhile,
Calming.
Unique.
Magronamiconificent.
It’s great that future pollution doesn’t really affect the future atmosphere. You have no idea what it’s like to sit on a future mountain-top and watch the future sky’s future clouds form future shapes and all that J.I.Z.Z. Nobody does there’s all this beauty around us but no one stops to admire this crap. No one stops to smell the future roses. There’s all this future hustle and future bustle. “Our great savior Tri Bute this” and “J.I.Z.Z. that” I don’t really follow that hogwash. I have my own belief; it’s “calming, unique, and magronamiconificent”. If you can’t “C.U.M.” what do you have?
-Opu Lent
--
Later That Evening,
“Vio Lin,” called Mag Ma, the official of name calling in future gallows appointments the will be televised and required viewing for future people, or the OF N.C. IFGA T.W.B.T.A. RV F.F.P.
Vio Lin stepped forward and Mag poked him with a future branding iron, then used special future powers to put Vio Lin in a future holding cell.
Vio Lin is chained to the wall with gronjagorium shackles. Vio Lin shut his eyes in an attempt to get some rest for the next day’s ‘great symphony’, but he is startled by the sound of two hands coming together in a rhythmic pattern, slowly, and mockingly.
“And here you are, I knew I’d catch you red future handed,” said Tri Bute as he emerged from a future bench seat on the opposite wall within the future holding cell.
Vio Lin frowned and closed his eyes, but that didn’t make Tri Bute go away. After a hand floated across his face, Lin decided to dignify Tri Bute’s comment with a response.
“What do you want now, boy?” asked Vio Lin.
“I want to know why you think you can break the rules. You also didn’t say you were sorry.”
“That’s because I’m not sorry.”
Tri Bute merely shrugged.
“Why do you think you can break the law, criminal?”
“What do you want me to say? The law was wrong.”
Tri Bute smacked him again.
“Oh, you’re getting your wish now, huh? I could tell the first time I met you that you wanted to chain me to a wall and J.I.Z.Z. all over me. You’re lucky you’re family, Butey. I wouldn’t have taken you in otherwise. You wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for me; I know that much. I thought I raised the selfishness out of you, but I was wrong you’re still an acehole. Stop crapping on everything Tri Bute. Smell the future roses every once and awhile.
I told your mother to get a future abortion for good reason. You have evil jeans just like your father. Put on some good shorts. It’s future summer. You must be burning up in those future children eating pants. You know, the ones you used to love platonically?”
Tri Bute turned away from his great-grandfather.
“Shut up. I don’t need to take this kind of abuse. For three years I’ve defended this future championship title against all those attempting future usurpers. You didn’t unlock the Box of Truth. I did that heroic act; I saved this planet, not you cabbage patch.
Everything I’ve done I did without your advice. I raised myself; you just provided a future roof for a few future years. I destroyed and deactivated the Zondian Truth Bots. I drank their robot blood as it oozed off the mechanical bodies.
That’s why I’m the King of the Universe Warrior Grandslam Mega Murder Mother Flippin’ Champion and you aren’t. That’s why I make the rules and send you to death when you break them in protest. After tomorrow everyone will know what happens to Style Treason Thievery offenders.”
To emphasize the point, Tri Bute grabbed Vio Lin by the back of his head and pulled him downwards until his arms snapped off due to being held down by the gronjagorium shackles. Without arms to keep him stuck to the wall Vio Lin’s torso and head fell forward due to the laws of future gravity; this caused him to crash face first into the future hardwood floor.
Tri Bute exited the future holding cell with a future smirk on his face.
ISSUE #17
Judgment
“He is a man of JUSTICE, and the righteous defender of our great planet,”
“He loves future flowers, especially future tulips,”
“He is a man of INTEGRITY, and has never roped a woman even at her most defenseless,”
“He loves future children, platonically,”
“He is a man of ZANKUSTILITY, and can do no wrong,”
“He loves FUTURE EARTH our great planet,”
“He is a man of ZEUSRION, and treats our great creator with respect, unlike our enemies,”
“And, Bua, he’s coming to the ring now, please welcome, “J.I.Z.Z” Tri Bute,”
Then he stopped the tape.
“Butey, it’s time for you to be that guy again. The guy that stopped Zondian rule and saved us all from flippin’ dangnation,”
I looked at him, and then I took a look at the future police report and future photos of him committing the act of injustice, that dreadful act of inintegrity, of inzankustility, of inzeusrion. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let this horrible person go off scot-free after what he did.
“I’m sorry, but that has nothing to do with this case. Since you are not even trying to put up any sort of defense for yourself and it’s really obvious that you are in fact guilty of this act of injustice, inintegrity, inzankustility, and inzeusrion I will in fact be sending you to your death tomorrow at sun down. Vio Lin you are guilty of Style Treason Thievery.”
It was the most disgusting, disrespectful thing anyone has ever tried to pull over me. I thought humans had evolved past this animalistic, robotic, Zondian way of thinking. Lawbreakers are meaningless nuisances to this society and to think I was raised by one of these animals.
“Mr. Lin, I must say, from the bottom of my heart, it will be an absolute pleasure to see an insipid moron’s eyes bug out as his body jerks. I would like everyone in this future courtroom to join me in the future gallows tomorrow as this bastard is hung by the future neck until he is dead. Dead. DEAD! May Zeusrion have mercy on your soul.”
Leave it to the King of The Universe Warrior Grandslam Mega Murder Mother Flippin’ Champion to provide you with eight thousand year old Troma movie references.
The future bailiffs surrounded Vio Lin, and point their psy-lasers at him. Vio Lin doesn’t try to fight them off and takes this slice of justice, integrity, zankustility, and Zeusrion like a real future man would. The future bailiffs put future handcuffs on Vio Lin.
“Don’t tug his strings boys. I want everyone to wait for the greatest symphony in future history. Tomorrow everyone will know that Style Treason Thievery is suicide.”
I am the King of The Universe, you don’t mooch off my swag. You don’t wear the same future shirt as me. Ever. I don’t care who you are.
--
Meanwhile,
Calming.
Unique.
Magronamiconificent.
It’s great that future pollution doesn’t really affect the future atmosphere. You have no idea what it’s like to sit on a future mountain-top and watch the future sky’s future clouds form future shapes and all that J.I.Z.Z. Nobody does there’s all this beauty around us but no one stops to admire this crap. No one stops to smell the future roses. There’s all this future hustle and future bustle. “Our great savior Tri Bute this” and “J.I.Z.Z. that” I don’t really follow that hogwash. I have my own belief; it’s “calming, unique, and magronamiconificent”. If you can’t “C.U.M.” what do you have?
-Opu Lent
--
Later That Evening,
“Vio Lin,” called Mag Ma, the official of name calling in future gallows appointments the will be televised and required viewing for future people, or the OF N.C. IFGA T.W.B.T.A. RV F.F.P.
Vio Lin stepped forward and Mag poked him with a future branding iron, then used special future powers to put Vio Lin in a future holding cell.
Vio Lin is chained to the wall with gronjagorium shackles. Vio Lin shut his eyes in an attempt to get some rest for the next day’s ‘great symphony’, but he is startled by the sound of two hands coming together in a rhythmic pattern, slowly, and mockingly.
“And here you are, I knew I’d catch you red future handed,” said Tri Bute as he emerged from a future bench seat on the opposite wall within the future holding cell.
Vio Lin frowned and closed his eyes, but that didn’t make Tri Bute go away. After a hand floated across his face, Lin decided to dignify Tri Bute’s comment with a response.
“What do you want now, boy?” asked Vio Lin.
“I want to know why you think you can break the rules. You also didn’t say you were sorry.”
“That’s because I’m not sorry.”
Tri Bute merely shrugged.
“Why do you think you can break the law, criminal?”
“What do you want me to say? The law was wrong.”
Tri Bute smacked him again.
“Oh, you’re getting your wish now, huh? I could tell the first time I met you that you wanted to chain me to a wall and J.I.Z.Z. all over me. You’re lucky you’re family, Butey. I wouldn’t have taken you in otherwise. You wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for me; I know that much. I thought I raised the selfishness out of you, but I was wrong you’re still an acehole. Stop crapping on everything Tri Bute. Smell the future roses every once and awhile.
I told your mother to get a future abortion for good reason. You have evil jeans just like your father. Put on some good shorts. It’s future summer. You must be burning up in those future children eating pants. You know, the ones you used to love platonically?”
Tri Bute turned away from his great-grandfather.
“Shut up. I don’t need to take this kind of abuse. For three years I’ve defended this future championship title against all those attempting future usurpers. You didn’t unlock the Box of Truth. I did that heroic act; I saved this planet, not you cabbage patch.
Everything I’ve done I did without your advice. I raised myself; you just provided a future roof for a few future years. I destroyed and deactivated the Zondian Truth Bots. I drank their robot blood as it oozed off the mechanical bodies.
That’s why I’m the King of the Universe Warrior Grandslam Mega Murder Mother Flippin’ Champion and you aren’t. That’s why I make the rules and send you to death when you break them in protest. After tomorrow everyone will know what happens to Style Treason Thievery offenders.”
To emphasize the point, Tri Bute grabbed Vio Lin by the back of his head and pulled him downwards until his arms snapped off due to being held down by the gronjagorium shackles. Without arms to keep him stuck to the wall Vio Lin’s torso and head fell forward due to the laws of future gravity; this caused him to crash face first into the future hardwood floor.
Tri Bute exited the future holding cell with a future smirk on his face.
